liberty · equality · eternity

Right off the bat, “Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld” got preempted for Obama’s address.  I guess he’s presenting it at 3:00 A.M.  Am I the only person getting tired of all the presidential exposure?  I mean, his family have replaced the Lohans as most hyped celebrities.  They’ve graced every cover other than “O.” 

I watched part of the President’s speech to the governors this morning.  Even he can’t make specific proposals sound exciting.  Departed from the text to explain something, he was far more watchable.  I suggest he edit down his speeches or everyone will tire of hearing his voice.  True, he doesn’t stumble over sentences like his predecessor, but ‘W’ was endlessly entertaining, especially when he was explaining stuff.

Then driving to work, some asshole cut me off twice when the right lane was blocked.  He was one of those morons who assume everyone will move out of his way, which worked this time, since I usually choose safety over principle, at least when driving. 

Checked my accounts online, overdrawn due to a mysterious charge of $166.97.  Turns out it was a returned cheque from the City and County of San Francisco.  Yes, my bail refund on the case I won a couple of months ago.  [see: "Ticket To Rob"]  The credit union representative said it didn’t bounce, exactly, he wasn’t sure why it was returned.  I have my theories.  They are a bunch of dickheads is the main one.  The explanation was “refer to maker,” which I did.  I referred to them as dickheads.

Never trust the government.  This ticket was erroneously issued in July 2008, took months to resolve, cost me time and money.  Now it looks like getting my bail money returned could go on for weeks and cost even more. 

Many so-called economic experts (“I read the Wall Street Journal, once.”) say that the financial crisis was caused by lack of regulation.  As I’ve said, it wasn’t “no” regulation, it was “poor” regulation.  Well, I might have said “shitty” regulation.  The only thing scarier than nationalised banks would be nationalised health care.  The US is too big to manage, too corrupt to trust.

Consider Microsoft.  They were caught conspiring to create an operating system monopoly a few years back.  If a manufacturer wanted the lowest price for Windows, it had to pay that fee for every computer sold, even if the computer did not have Windows installed.  Naturally, sellers resisted loading competing systems, so a monopoly was borne by consumers.  Microsoft agreed to refrain from predatory policies, until they were caught force-installing Internet Explorer on every computer, since Microsoft couldn’t even give it away, a sure indicator of quality software.  Although they were caught red-handed, they squeezed out of that with a small fine, some minor concessions and big campaign contributions, except in Europe, where they have actual regulation.

Now Microsoft have a new version of Windows called VISTA, which they are too embarrassed to advertise.  Problem is that it’s “sluggish” and “a memory hog” (according to Mossberg) with several confusing versions, all poorly received.  So poorly that customers want Windows XP instead.  The software con-glomerate planned to stop selling XP.  Instead, they are forcing buyers to buy VISTA, then pay over $100 more for a downgrade to XP.  If that’s not shady, nothing is.  Dell and HP “recommend” VISTA on their web sites; although they don’t explain why, I can guess.  Is the government investigating this repeat offender?  No.  They’re busy raiding pot suppliers in California. 

On top of that, a front-page Wall Street Journal article today describes the plight of unemployed elderly Americans.  Since they’re old, it’s tough finding work, and they can’t survive on government assistance alone.  These are citizens in their seventies and eighties.  Anticipated, except I predicted this would occur in a couple of decades, not now.  It’s happening today.  Another feather in the Federal government’s cap. 

At least ancient legislators have cushy jobs, thank goodness.  No, wait, thank the government.

Tying up some loose threads, finally received my Traffic Court refund, which must have gotten tangled with those flyers the USPS distributes and nearly got tossed.  That would have been horrible.  As March approaches, I begin to think I’ll never receive my Rihanna calendar.  The order seems to share a similar fate to my “Sunday Love” album on order with Amazon.  I came up with a tasteless, hilarious comment on Rihanna’s recent experiences but, as a fan, I’m withholding it.  Sorry.  

For the most part, I’m liking my iMac, which is superior to using a PC or being PC [see below].  It’s not perfect, but Microsoft have set the bar so low, the Mac’s practically perfect.  Since it’s just one thin piece, Chyna (cat) prefers the hardware to the previous Dell with fatscreen.  She can check behind it, fall asleep beside the mouse.  As an added bonus, that it makes it difficult for me to use the computer because, really, I should be watching her sleep.

Little more to say about the so-called Stimulus Package.  Now that the President signed it, the trouble begins.  Perhaps subsequent scams can be halted, as the argument that there’s no time to read a bill grows stale.  As anyone with half a brain (most politicians) can see, billions of non-existent dollars may be moving, yet the economy just lies flaccid despite (or because of) the stimuli.  Of course, government haven’t spent anything yet, so it could be rescinded.

What continues pissing me off is pro-homownership favouritism.  Obama wants to reduce mortgage payments to no more than 32% of income. That’s all well and good, as Miss Marple might say, but what about renters?  When you need a place to live, you need not commit more money than you can afford to buy your residence.  That’s greed.  Rentees can’t dicker on the rent or terms.  Landlords say take it or leave it.  With numerous tax breaks, owners can wait for someone less frugal or better funded.  And when the rent gets jacked up, too bad.

Once again I ask, where’s the help for renters?  If a homeowner shouldn’t have to pay more than a third of earnings for a mortgage, why should someone pay 50% or more on rent?  Renters pay taxes.  Renters are citizens, second-class citizens, but citizens.    

The winner of my “Mentioning the Unmentionable” contest is Mike Huckabee, who said on his FoxNews show yesterday, “The government’s not gonna do anything for the renters.”  Right on, governor!  As he pointed out, the government is going to force renters to subsidise occupants of overpriced, overfinanced houses with mortgages rather than leases.

From high rents to high mentors, a “RedEye with Greg Gutfeld” guest, Norm Stamper, proposed legalisation of drugs.  All drugs.  The whole kitten caboodle.  Getting high never seduced me, although sometimes drugs are necessary, as when a woman wants to get me high to seduce me.  Drugs are a personal decision, government the least qualified organisation to select good drugs and, besides, that’s not their job.  Drug regulation is what I like to call Unconstitutional.  The Supreme Court may not call it that, but they are assholes, probably high on coke.

[below]
I was bowling this week.  (Yes, my life is a fucking bowl of All Bran.)  One of the chaps in our league has been diagnosed with a brain tumour.  He is a delightful man and I couldn’t be sadder for him and his family.  He was supposed to bowl against my team this week, but has stopped bowling.  Had he been a politician, he’d still be pretending to represent his constituents.  Had he been a judge, he’d still be pretending to administer justice.  I say, “You’re old, you’re feeble, step aside!”

It’s politically incorrect to pick on someone disabled or old or professing odd religious practices, different heritage, skin tone, sexual orientation and the list keeps expanding.  The PC police are torn between defending the fat and banning fat to benefit society.  Here’s an idea.  How about restoring manners to our lives.  It is discourteous pointing out someone’s differences as an insult, but it’s stupid to ignore them.  A senator, for instance, who won’t give up his seat for a younger, healthier person is serving no one but himself.  His successor might be a woman or a member of one of his favourite minorities.  Or another European-American male hack.  Are you listening, Senator Teddy?

As the country faces financial chaos, one can’t help wondering if the government would be coping better with fewer experienced politicians interested in shielding themselves from blame, rather than solving problems.  They keep claiming there wasn’t enough oversight.  There was plenty; it just happened to be shitty.  Who was responsible for that?  Not me.  The entrenched so-called leaders of the US, who have abdicated their fiduciary responsibility.  For decades they’ve postponed action on Medicare and Social Security, but keep stealing payroll taxes.  Is that worse than Bernie Madoff?  At least his suckers voluntarily entrusted him with their money.

Bill Maher returned to HBO this week, with Ron Paul as his first guest.  Maher seems to regard Paul as a loveable eccentric.  The first panelist said she wouldn’t want to live in a country that adopted his experiment (of government non-intervention).  That seems no more of an experiment than spending trillions to “fix” the economy, especially when everyone who supports the spending package qualifies it by saying they hope it works.  President Obama hopes to cut the deficit in half over the next four years.  Good for him.  I hope to hang out with Naomi Campbell.  We shall see whose goals prove most realistic.

Also on television, ratings for “Doll House” on FOX dropped about 15% in its second airing Friday at 9:00.  A Congressional resolution could save that show from cancellation.  If so, they will have one victory to tout in 2010.  Call it the “Eliza Dushku stimulus package.”  I’d support that. 

Hell, I’d administer it!
 
 

The multi-talented writer-performer graduated from Emerson College, just like me.  Unlike me, he is not a total failure so, naturally, Emerson gave him an honourary PhD.  They do that when you are successful enough to donate money.  Colleges never give PhDs to needy grads or nerdy sages, who might parlay the degree into success and donate money, but that’s higher education.  The first (sometimes only) thing you learn at college is that you don’t count.

I don’t buy all his notions, but Denis presents them in a way that doesn’t irritate me, although it might irritate you, especially if you’re a wimp.  Just because I’m a failure doesn’t mean I’ve lost my sense of irony or personal responsibility.  Dr L writes, in a stream of semi-consciousness, “If most people in this country see something on TV it must be true/news/necessary/important.  Therefore, when things go wrong — how can the innocent citizen/TV watcher be at fault?”  Agreed.

There’s an anti-cat, pro-dog chapter, a strange position coming from a guy whose firefighter show has no dalmations.

He reviles PC idiocy, our litigiousness and trends many writers avoid, to stave off attacks by students of the Idiot’s Guide to Being An Asshole.  He also notes, as this blog often does, America’s lack of historic perspective; in his words, “This country has the attention span of a gnat on Non-Drowsy Sudafed.”  (Presumably not the weak PE kind.)

So while I enjoy Leary, the book confirms my impression that we have almost nothing in common.  Part of that may be due to his Irish-American, large family upbringing and so on.  He seems to have many friends, drinking buddies and so forth.  

But don’t let me bring you down.  If you are a fan, buy this book.  Definitely.  If not, get “The Job” on DVD, watch it, then read Why We Suck.

Bill sounded a bit like New York Senator Chuck Schumer, who said, “The bottom line is: With this downturned economy, there is no place to turn but government.”  I don’t know about you, but whenever anyone I know has turned to government for help, they ended up worse off than before.  No doubt, this legislation will be different, flying elephants will invent a cure for cancer and we’ll all live happily ever after.

Not long ago I, gt, worked in an office where they forced me to become an appointment secretary, managing calendars for self-important persons on the go.  I am flexible, as former girlfriends can confirm, so I gave it a whirl.  I was less than adept at the job, which made me uncomfortable because I disliked it.  No, that’s not true.  I hated it.  Never in a million years would I have sought such employment, any more than I would have applied to be a file clerk or toilet cleaner.  To manage schedules, you need to concentrate on calendars, times and other boring details.  That’s not me.  I daydream too much about a world where people schedule their own appointments.

So yes, I made errors, not the least of which was failing to devote all my energy to finding another job.  Even so, I did okay.  I would have done better had my bosses been supportive rather than trying to detect/invent tiny details I missed, or failed to anticipate.  Management were not perfect; they expected perfection only from me.  Considering I was underpaid for a job I never wanted, they got what they deserved. 

Compare my experience with the US Congress.  As Calendar Guy, I sometimes sent an e-mail giving the wrong room number for a meeting, which I corrected a minute or two later.  After wrecking one of the largest economies in the world, Congress hammered in the final coffin nails with a $787 billion (approximately) bill they just passed.  They wanted their jobs — a lot.  They get paid a lot. 

This bill confirms my prediction of Social Security’s collapse.  We’ll all suffer in retirement, except for politicians.  But they have it so great, they never retire.

Consider Ted Kennedy.  He should have gone to stud years ago, giving someone with new ideas a chance.  Instead he’s hanging on, so people like me can continue calling him an asswipe, as long as he’s alive, technically.  TK wants to enact socialised medicine as his personal legacy, a sort of Health Care TKO.  He was disappointed and bewildered when Tom Daschle withdrew from consideration as Health Czar.  Kennedy couldn’t understand how a revered former senator could get in that much trouble for tax shenanigans.  Teddy would never cheat on his taxes.
       
Ah, legacies…
  Nancy Pelotulinum rushed to get the Education Bill [aka stimulus package] passed before her European vacation, or maybe she was just assuring no one had time to read it.  Either way, good to know somebody can afford to take a vacation, but shouldn’t she travel to a US destination to help the American economy?  It’s not like her stupid bill will.  Confirming she is well aware of this, the Speaker wasted no time crediting (blaming?) President Obama for the legislation.
 
Note: I wrote this on Friday, the thirteenth, then got bogged down in other stuff, such as watching “Dollhouse.”  When I say “today,” I mean yesterday.  I could have changed it, but now is as good a time as any to get used to adjusting your perceptions.

Peripheral sport Michael Phelps, whom I thought headed the IMF [as in "Good morning Mr Phelps"], was photographed inhaling from a bong in England.  I learned that that’s a device [pictured] for delivering a smoother hit of marijuana than cigarettes.  The usual idiots say Phelps should be arrested, hung by his thumbs, even waterboarded, which he might enjoy.  His team suspended him and, worse, he may lose product endorsements.
Bong, baby

Why all the hoopla?  Supreme Court nominee Douglas Ginsburg over twenty years ago (1987) withdrew his nomination after “admitting” he smoked marijuana several times.  Since then, every nominee has acknowledged having toked, or lied, as presidents, principals, actors, citizens in all walks of life have “experimented” with weed.  It is no longer a hanging offence.  In fact, it is pretty much ignored because we realise that nearly everyone tries dope, so there would be no one to put in charge of stuff, which might not be a bad thing, except to those who vet the persons in charge.  It might explain the recent rash of tax-evading appointees.

Had this involved a performer-enhancing drug, the reaction would be understandable.  But, come on!  Would there be an uproar if he had been caught drinking coffee or Scotch, or smoking a cigar?  Unlikely.  So this is not health or job-related, it is political.  The government says it’s illegal, so Phelps is evil.  Since he’s a role model, all those young persons who have forsworn dope to be like Michael Phelps may now try it.  I suspect those high-minded authorities who are most upset are high, which also might explain the recent rash of tax-evading appointees.

Strangest are the demands to charge the swimmer with a crime.  The “incident” occurred in England, so charges would have to originate there.  Only in England, as in the USA, having smoked weed is not a crime.  They must catch you in the act and, even then, most cops ignore it unless you’re not white.

Speaking of jurist prudence, have you seen Ruth Bader Ginsberg lately?  She looks like she could benefit greatly from a marijuana regimen.  Reinforcing the Age Old issue, RBG was 60 when Bill Clinton appointed her to the court.  Now she is 75.  The Constitution’s framers could not have predicted the increase in lifespan when they specified lifetime terms.  Then again, they probably didn’t anticipate most government employees, including the Supreme Court, ignoring the Constitution.

California state has its own constitution, which requires a balanced, funded budget.  Their tax forms available at Postal Service outlets proclaim that it’s easy to file on line.  (In my experience, it’s harder to figure out than the Federal form.)  If you owe money, can you give California an IOU?  That’s what the comptroller intends to do if you overpaid.  It’s easy to pay immediately if the state gets money.  They should provide a credit, or deposit money into your account.  Or maybe let you print out the IOU immediately, so you can frame it, to remind you to throw out the incumbents in the next election.

My first thought on reading how easy it is to file online (sure!), it is even easier not to file at all.  Californians would be doing a public service by refusing to file this year to protest the gerrymandered, geriatric, bungling, unprincipled state government.   

Why are state tax forms at the Postal Service, anyway?  Last I heard, USPS were a money-draining federal entity, begging Congress to allow them to deliver mail less often.  Why not?  Congress always look for ways to meet less often and, while the may not lose mail, they lose far more money than the post office.

The best thing about living in a dictatorship:
You can say honestly, “Don’t blame me.  I wasn’t consulted.  It’s not like this is a democracy, where everyone gets a voice and the people control the government.”

Democracy, the other white lie.
 
 

Dems control the bicameral legislature and the judiciary, thanks to gerrymandering and voter malaise.  The Republican governor is a girlie man who opposes his party’s legislators to court the Democrats.

The result of decades of Democratic control?  A flailing economy, despite revenue surges, such as technology (pre-bubble) and the stock market in general.  Unfortunately, the Sacramentonions spend extra money faster than they collect it, then push bonds financing projects they neglect to legislate, resulting in interest nearly doubling the cost of such pressing needs as prison construction.

More prisons are necessary because these lawmakers misunderstand their jobs.  It is not to pass as many laws as possible, it is to balance the budget and pass necessary legislation, eliminate or fix laws that do not work.  It is not to micromanage every aspect of business and personal life, driving people and businesses out of the state.  The aforementioned governor introduced an expensive, failing health programme.

Now the feds are finding stealth methods of forcing national health care on innocent Americans. 

Some seeds have been sown over the past decade, more are planted in the infamous emergency rescue bill.  At least the health fiasco won’t be presided over by Tom Daschle.  They wanted to excuse him for forgetting to pay his taxes.  I couldn’t excuse him for being a jerk.  So, why worry about Washington?  Let’s see.

No one expected the Soviet Union to implode, least of all American intelligence.  A major factor was their nine-year war in Afghanistan, fought by US-backed Arab jihadists, including young Osama bin Laden, whose group was later rechristened (remuslimmed?) al-Qaeda.  But don’t blame the international mess on the Democrats; foreign policy blunders are bipartisan, if you still believe there are two distinct parties.

Between international disasters and the financial meltdown, before you know it the USA will join the UK, USSR, Rome and all the other former powerhouse nations in history.

DRIVING MISS-CITATION
Updating the great San Francisco rip off of me, gt…
Got a letter from the Controller’s Office of the City & County claiming that the address they have on file for my transaction is one I haven’t used for eight or ten years.  I might accept that, except I received every notice regarding that ticket and every other request (from city and state) for payments at my current address.  If I had any reason to believe they were clever, I’d say they deliberately used a bad address to delay paying me.  More likely it’s ineptitude.  I’ll return their form requesting a replacement check.  I wonder how long processing will take and how pissed off I’ll be by then.